People often ask what is this new-fangled thing called Therapeutic Coaching, how does it work and more importantly ‘will it work for me’?
It seems like a huge risk to invest time and money in something, like a ‘process’ or ‘programme’ that you don’t understand, seems a bit vague and frankly unbelievable.
It is difficult to imagine that you can change the way you think and feel, what you believe, or get rid of old emotional baggage you carry around, because it feels ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ and. is ‘just how I am’ or ‘just how my life is’ and you are used to being…… anxious/stressed/depressed/unhappy/resentful/bored/undervalued/unconfident/negative about yourself – (select yours).
I have been doing this work for almost 25 years and have seen hundreds and hundreds of people transform how they feel and what they believe is possible for them.
“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.”
In The Beginning
When you are a child you are like a blank bit of hardware. As you grow and develop your software gets loaded on to you by the people around you, the media and your experiences. Most of this happens before the age of 7. If you are told you are beautiful and strong or clever you believe that. If you are told you are stupid and ugly and not valuable you believe that.
As a result, your software is mainly other people’s – what they knew, believed and felt about you and life, and may or not be relevant to you and your life now.
Some of it you did load, as you sought to make sense of yourself and the world around you. But, because you were young, hadn’t got much experience or knowledge it is often not exactly true. You might have had an experience like mine, standing up in front of the class at school and being humiliated. I took that experience forwards into the rest of my life and even now, get very anxious about standing up in front of people because I am expecting to be humiliated and feel shame.
Therapeutic Coaching is like ‘cleaning up your software’, getting rid of those old, out of date, thoughts, beliefs, inner conflicts, negative emotions – all that stuff you can’t see or touch, but you feel and control everything you do – or more importantly – don’t do.
Updating your software is what leads to profound change happening in your life and how you feel about yourself. Recent scientific research mean that we understand much more about how your physiology, energy, neurology and even your DNA can change – and know how to make that process happen effectively.
Positive psychology and neuroscience, along with a better understanding of how the mind and body work together means that Therapeutic Coaching is much more than talking about your past experiences and telling yourself to ‘get a grip’, be positive or brave or grateful. It is about creating deep, meaningful and lasting changes to your ‘programming ‘that last long after your Therapeutic Coaching has finished.
Therapeutic Coaching is a mix of Psychotherapy and Coaching.
Psychotherapy is excellent at recognising your old physiological, hormonal and neurological patterns (your software) and interrupting them.
(They are identifiable by the language you use, your body language and behaviour and is why it is difficult for any of us to do this for ourselves).
Once your old ‘software’ has been removed or updated, Coaching helps you to create, and upload, new ‘software’ more suited to who you are now and where you are in your life.
The first and most important step in any therapy is awareness. If you are not aware of something you probably can’t change it. You need to find the troublesome ‘software’ before you can do anything with it.
We call this your ‘unconscious’. The place where you store everything you have ever learned.
Like how to do up a button, get dressed, eat, walk, or talk…. watch a young child and see them learning how to do these everyday tasks that you don’t think about now. By the way……what leg do you put in your trousers first?
The function of your subconscious mind is to store and retrieve data. Its job is to ensure that you respond exactly the way your software has been programmed.
All your habits of thinking, feeling as well as the way, you do things is stored in your subconscious mind.
Once you have learned that putting your hand in the fire burns you, you don’t usually repeat it.
Once you have learned that standing up in front of people is exhilarating or terrifying, your body and mind take that reaction forward in to every new occasion. That is why whenever you stand up in front of people you will have that same feeling – exhilaration or terror, depending on what you first emotional experience was.
In your body these emotional experiences create neurological, hormonal, and physiological pathways.
A bit like cutting a path through the jungle. The first time you go along that path it is slow, but the more times your body reacts in that way the path becomes clearer, quicker and easier for the reaction to occur, you create patterns, or habits, that feel entirely normal and natural. “That is just how I am”.
Your subconscious has memorized all your comfort zones and it works to keep you in them.
Your subconscious mind causes you to feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable whenever you attempt to do anything new or different or try to change any of your established patterns, or habits.
In addition, the Reticular Activating System in your brain is reinforces all of this.
It is this part of your brain that makes you focus on what is familiar. A friend decided to buy herself a new Mini. She went to the showroom and ordered one in powder blue as she had never seen one before and thought it as unusual. Guess what? On her way back home, she saw 3!
We must filter out most of what we see, hear and feel or we would be so overloaded with information we couldn’t function. So, we focus on what we recognise, and, in this way, we prove ourselves right! It is humiliating standing up in front of people, see, people don’t want to work with me. Whatever you believe comes true because your brain makes sure it does.
So, to make changes, particularly to what you believe about yourself is about proving yourself to be wrong!
The flight or flight reaction also gets activated when anything is unfamiliar, so you have a mind and body that are completely set up to maintain the status quo, however much it is harming you, your ability to be health or happy and stops you making changes.
I am sure you recognise that feeling when you go somewhere for the first time, or meet someone new, or try and change a habit.
All that software you are continuing to upload is just confirming what you already think and feel and behave and creates powerful beliefs that govern everything you do.
So, whilst therapeutic coaching can feel uncomfortable and confusing it is not meant to be ‘painful’ or overwhelming. You will be able to carry on with your life. You are not adding any more to your already cluttered mind and busy body. You are cleaning up and removing old stuff. Which is why physically decluttering your home is so cathartic. It is the same process.
You keep the habits that are useful to you and always work from your strengths, you may not even know you have, to change these unconscious patterns and habits.
When you shut off old pathways and create new habits and patterns in your body – and neuroscience proves that this is possible – what you believe, how you think, feel and behave changes easily and naturally.
Does this really work?
Yes! The results speak for themselves. See the results that recent clients have achieved HERE.
Therapeutic Coaching is an exciting new approach to shift your mindset and give you the calmness, clarity and confidence you need to make the most of this exciting time in your life.
Getting rid of old baggage, creating new beliefs and changing what you think and feel leads to amazing changes happening inside of you then, like magic, life a round you changes as well.
As you change your relationship with yourself, all your other relationships have to change. As you become clear about what you want and don’t want, you make confident decisions and live your life with integrity, according your own values without over giving and self sacrifice.
You have to be the change, not just do the change- to corrupt the words of Mahatma Ghandi.
“With 20+ years of experience supporting many people through challenging or even traumatic times in their life, I can give you the understanding, tools and techniques that you need to make positive changes quickly”.
Want to find out more about how Therapeutic Coaching could help you?