Our close relationships are fraught with misunderstandings and disappointments, that if you don’t nip them in the bud lead, to long term resentment that no amount of hearts and flowers will heal.

It is not very romantic, but we do need to be clear with ourselves and with our partners, what it is we

really want and need from them – and find a way to communicate that clearly and kindly.

You assume that if s/he really loved me they would know what you want – or don’t want. They would buy the perfect gift, intuit when you need a hug, know when you want them to help or not talk. This is magical thinking and unfortunately your partner is not a mind reader and may not have picked something up intuitively.

You need to tell them.

As adults we need to teach our partners how to love us – however much they love us they do not necessarily know what we need to feel loved…and we need to know ourselves well enough to know what we want and need from our partners as well as what they want and need from us….and be able to tell them.

Some people need to ‘feel’ they are loved (through touch), some people need to ‘hear’ their loved – you need to tell them. Some people need to ‘see’ that they are loved (gifts and other gestures they can see). 

Over To You


Be clear yourself. You need to know what you want before you can ask for it. Take some some time to think about what you want and when and how you are going to share that with your partner. They will almost certainly be relieved and grateful.

Don’t take it personally. Your partner learned how to show love and how to communicate in their past… when you weren’t part of their life. 

Really ground yourself in your loving energy. Speak from the heart and you can’t go wrong.

What do you need to feel loved? Do let your partner know. They may show love, but because it is not in the way that resonates with you, you don’t feel loved.

Appreciate the things they do for you. We all like to be appreciated and it definitely inspires you to want to do more.

Tell them what you do want and not what you don’t want. Say ‘could you please………’ and not ‘stop doing…….’.

Ask your partner what works for them! It will open the conversation for you to say what you do and don’t like. 

If you have issues in your relationships that leave you feeling dissatisfied, confused or frustrated why not book a free 40 minute Clarity Call  with Linda TODAY, and find out what you can do to improve your relationships?

linda@lindabarbour.co.uk or 07795311354