Do you worry about what other people think?
Does what other people think stop you from doing the things you want to do?
Do you feel resentful, unfulfilled and stuck, because you get so upset about what other people think?
Feeling ‘anxious to please’ other people is very common and has really significant effects on your success and happiness.
In some ways it is great as you will be very sensitive to other people and provide a great service. But, it can also be a curse and get in the way of you doing what is right for you.
Follow this 2 step process and find it easier to be calm and clear, have less self doubt and be significantly more confident and make changes to your life.
STEP ONE – Shift Your Awareness
Start to notice your reactions to other people’s real or imagined opinions. Becoming aware of how you feel and what you do, when you are feeling judged, is the first step to making any change.
Do you become critical of them or yourself? Do you want to hide or withdraw, get angry with them or do you start to beat yourself up?
Do you get despondent and want to give up, or become more anxious to please them and get things ‘right’?
Write it down. You will not remember next time you are feeling ‘judged.’
Shift your focus away from the other person and stop focussing on what they do or don’t think, say or do.
We are all guilty of “well if only s/he didn’t do this or that then I would feel okay”
Stop trying to change the other person and consider how you, yourself, might change and deal with other people’s opinions differently.
STEP TWO – Managing Your Emotions
Now you are aware of what you are feeling you can start to manage and change how you react to other people’s judgements.
The emotion you need to focus on first is the fear and anxiety. It is this emotion that is triggering all your reactions.
Concentrate on lowering your stress levels using whatever techniques work for you – exercise, creativity, music, being outside, relaxation, meditation, pets, cooking, socialising, talking things through, etc etc
Once your stress levels are down you can start to connect to yourself and your own wisdom and start to judge for yourself what is the right action for you to take in these circumstances and, importantly, what other support you may need to deal with each situation.